Tips For Managing Jeolousy in Your Relationship

Jealousy is one of the most common yet toxic emotions that can infiltrate even the healthiest of relationships. That sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach when your partner pays a little too much attention to someone else or the burning rage you experience when you suspect they're being unfaithful - we've all been there. Unchecked jealousy can quickly turn into a dangerous undercurrent that erodes the foundation of trust, respect, and intimacy you've built with your significant other. But don't worry, with some self-awareness and emotional intelligence, the green-eyed monster can be tamed.  

1. Understand the Root Cause

More often than not, jealousy stems from deep-seated insecurities or fears rather than actual threats. Perhaps you had a painful experience with an unfaithful partner in the past, or maybe you battle with low self-esteem that causes you to constantly doubt your worth. Getting to the root of your jealous feelings is the first step toward addressing them in a healthy way.

2. Communicate Openly

When you start feeling those pangs of jealousy, the worst thing you can do is bottle them up inside. This will only cause the negative emotions to fester and potentially explode in an unhealthy manner down the road. Instead, approach your partner from a place of vulnerability and have an open, honest discussion about what's bothering you and why. Be sure to use "I" statements and avoid accusations.

3. Examine Your Expectations

Do you have unrealistic expectations about what constitutes acceptable behavior in your relationship? There's a big difference between your partner innocently chatting with a coworker and actively flirting or being inappropriate. Clearly defining boundaries as a couple can help prevent these misunderstandings.    

4. Build Your Self-Confidence

Individuals who are confident in themselves and their self-worth tend to be less prone to irrational jealousy. If you struggle with self-esteem issues, make it a point to practice more self-love and positive self-talk. Remind yourself that you're worthy of love and that your partner chose to be with you.

5. Give Your Partner Space

While it's good to share your feelings, don't suffocate your partner with constant demands for reassurance or suspicion. A little bit of independence is vital in any healthy relationship. If your partner needs some time with friends or to simply decompress on their own, don't take it as a personal affront.

6. Consider Your Own Actions

Sometimes, feelings of jealousy can essentially become a self-fulfilling prophecy if we're not careful. Interrogating your partner, acting possessive, or violating their privacy and independence will only breed resentment and distrust. Try to be cognizant of how your own actions may inadvertently be damaging the relationship.

7. Stop Comparisons

In our social media-drenched world, it's far too easy to fall into the toxic comparison trap of pitting yourself against others – including whoever your partner may potentially encounter or interact with. Remind yourself that these images you're seeing represent an intentionally curated version of reality, not real life. 

8. Practice Mindfulness

When jealous thoughts start creeping in, don't allow them to spiral out of control. Bring yourself into the present moment by practicing mindfulness and breathing techniques. Visualize the negative thoughts simply passing through your consciousness and letting them go.

9. Seek Professional Support  

If jealousy is causing serious strain and conflict within your relationship, there's no shame in seeking help from a couples counselor or therapist. They can help you get to the root of the issue and provide tools for better communication and understanding.

10. Have Reasonable Trust

At the end of the day, you need to consciously choose to have reasonable trust in your partner until they give you a legitimate reason not to. Yes, people can betray that trust, but entering a relationship from a place of constant suspicion is only going to breed negativity. Grant your partner the benefit of the doubt and make a concerted effort to check your irrational insecurities.